Fall Reflections

I found myself

feeling sad today

and I wasn’t sure why

The air was crisp

for the first time

in a long while

ushering in

my grief

Grief of my baby,

lost

of change,

of kids growing up

and leaving

again

It reminded me that

time doesn’t stop

and that you can’t keep

things

or people,

And that’s

so…

hard…

for me.

I want to keep

the ones I love

and hold them

close,

right here forever.

But the holding them

that comforts me

after a while,

feels like

smothering.

They were made

with wings and

for great things.

They have adventures to take

and dragons to slay,

Outside this little shire.

I am not in charge

And these gifts

were meant

to be shared.

My hands

aren’t big enough

to hold their growing

And I can’t stop

the leaving

And I couldn’t stop

the dying

Or the crying

But You are the one

who wipes away tears

who collects them

in a bottle and

count every, single, one.

You hold my sadness

and You hold me too

You lift my eyes

to look at You.

Just as the sadness has come,

it will go,

and that from these sacred tears I’ve sown,

precious things will grow.

“They who sow in tears shall reap with joyful singing.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭126:5‬ ‭