Our Song

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Our Song

By Susie Teramura

 

A bit behind

On all the

New Year’s stuff

No resolutions,

No goals made,

No one word

Chosen to hang

2018 on.

 

New Year’s

Passed quietly

At our house

Just husband

And me

Folding laundry

By the fire,

 

Too busy talking

To join in

With the ringing

 

But today

I got time

To slow

And crack open

My new

Leather journal.

 

It took a while

To start writing,

Afraid to

Mess up,

 

Funny part

After all that

Thought,

I messed up on

The very first letter

Of the very first word.

 

So much for new,

And clean,

And pretty,

 

But as I

Sink down,

And bury into

That black ink

Smudge,

 

I realize

There is something

Nice about

That mistake,

 

The pressure

Not to ruin things

Lifted.

 

I have already

Done it.

Now I am able

To make a mess.

To write my thoughts

Uninhibited and free.

 

Words, like

Clothes

For my thoughts,

Take time

To try on

And choose.

 

Things get messy

And strewn all about

But I start choosing,

And writing,

And thinking,

And talking to

You about

The year ahead,

 

Sharing my

Feelings about

Being behind,

And being unable

To find

My steps

In this

2018 dance,

 

And how

The rhythm seems

Too fast for

My feet to

Find the way,

 

But then

You speak

So kindly.

 

“Quiet… listen,

Lean back into Me,

Rest and hear

Your own

Music.

 

If you can

Hear it,

You will see

You are

…. Right

…On

…Beat

 

Stop looking

At everyone

Else’s feet

And look

At me

Then we

Can dance

And you

Will be free. “

 

Breathing in deep

I let those

Words sink

And settle

And comfort

My heart

 

You have a plan

And purpose

Just for me

It may not be

Neat or

Easy to see but

You know the song

You’re making in me

 

I close my journal

And decide

This year

Instead of resolutions

And lists

 

To have courage

In a new

And different

Kind of way,

 

To hold my hands

Out wide,

And empty,

 

To take

And receive

All that You

Want to

Give to me,

 

And not worry about

The mess

Or keeping up,

 

And to let

You lead

Our dance

Full and free

 

And listen only

To the song

You are

Singing over me.

 

 

Zephaniah 3:17 (ICB)

The Lord your God is with you.

The mighty One will save you.

The Lord will be happy with you.

You will rest in his love.

He will sing and be joyful about you.”

 

Jeremiah 29:11 (MSG)

I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for

 

 

 

Biggest Bold Blooms Finished!!

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I finally finished my biggest painting yet. 🙂 I am happy to have stuck with it! This is an assignment from Lynn Whipple’s Big Bold Blooms class. I had so much fun and painting this big definitely grew my courage and confidence. I hope to keep painting big bold blooms although we are running out of places to put them. 🙂 I have a few more lessons from this class to finish up, before I try something new but painting flowers all year long has made my heart happy! 🙂

Leaning Into Whispers

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Leaning Into Whispers

By Susie Teramura

Flipping through Instagram

I stop to see

She has a

New book

Coming soon.

A new message

To share,

From God’s heart

To mine.

My face breaks

Into a smile

“I cannot wait,”

I whisper to myself,

Hungry for more

Whitespace,

More rest.

There is

More of

Jesus there.

Book arrives

Packaged in hard

Brown cardboard,

Ripping it open,

I rub my hand

Across the cover, slow.

I leaf through

Brand new pages

And read the title

Again,

“Whispers of Rest”

by Bonnie Gray

Letting it

Sink in,

I say it once more

Like a big exhale.

Oh how badly

I need rest.

What a week

It has been,

The irony sets in;

With MRI scans

Blood draws,

Three Dr visits,

College kids

Filling the rooms and

Laundry basket again,

New puppy accidents,

ADHD creating havoc

On test day,

Leaky pipes,

Sagging ceilings, falling

On the leather couches,

The surprises

Keep coming,

So I keep coping,

And I realize that

Rest is a stranger to me,

Or at most, an unacquainted

Very distant relative.

But with book in hand

I have hope.

Bonnie will show

Me the way.

She has traveled

The road,

And is calling back

To my heart

Encouraging me

To rest,

For good things

Are found there.

She writes,

“Be the Beloved”

And tells me

He wants my heart.

That He has

Beautiful things

To give me and to

Give others

Through me.

She says He is

Inviting me to

A new way

Of living,

A way of living

Loved

No strings attached

Then she says

He has

A new name

For me and

That I am

His delight.

And as I read

It’s like I am

Having coffee

With a friend

Who keeps looking me

In the eye

And saying it

Over and over in

A number of different ways,

That I am loved,

And I can rest.

Problem is that

I can’t seem to

Return the gaze,

My face keeps

Looking down.

It feels

More comfortable there,

In the unbelief.

Something about

The embracing of it all,

This extravagant love,

Feels scary

It feels unfamiliar.

But I hear a

Freedom in her voice

And I want it.

And there’s closeness
with Jesus

That stretches my own

And I find myself craving that.

To just be loved

And feel myself

Beloved.

And so I’ve decided to

Say yes

To the invitation

To take the risk

To be ok with

Uncomfortable,

Because maybe, just maybe,

There is a better way.

A way that’s waiting

For me to step into,

A path lined with

Wild violets and

Carpeted with moss,

That’s been there all along but

That my eyes

Are just beginning

To make out.

So I will lean

Into the whispers

That tell me to rest,

And that say

The real work is done.

And then as

The trees bow low

To the breezes that

Touch my cheeks

I will sit

Face to face

With Jesus

Until the quiet becomes

Comfortable,

And His voice, familiar.

And His song

Becomes my own,

And I know

In the secret place

I am His

Beloved.

Psalm 18:19

He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Bonnie Gray’s new book Whispers’s of love comes out today!! It is so good! I highly recommend it! http://www.whispersofrest.com

Apothecary Rose

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I am taking another class called 8 Flowers 8 Ways by Val Webb. She is teaching us eight different techniques to painting eight different flowers. I thought this would be helpful for my big painting (that I am still working on!!) and would maybe give me some ideas for making cards as well. This first one is an Apothecary Rose done in a variation of a Japanese block printing style. You can see the white spaces left make it look like a wood carving or stencil.

Introducing…

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Winston! our new puppy! We picked up 8 week old Winston on Sunday He is an English Mastiff and will grow to be quite big(…actually huge. 😉 But Mastiffs are known to be gentle giants with sweet and slow temperaments. Zoe and I had been praying before bed that God would send us just the right puppy. This breed is hard to find, and it wasn’t looking good. However, my husband who is great at hunting things down, found a breeder in PA who just happened to have one male, fawn color, 8 weeks old left. She said he was spoken for earlier, but the women’s landlord wouldn’t let her have him so now he could be ours! We are so thankful for God’s kindness to us.  So, we are in up all night, out every two  hours for potty training mode and my eyes are fighting to stay open as I write, but I wanted you to meet this cutie as I am sure I will have more words about him…. as soon as he/we can sleep through the night! 🙂

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Draw Near

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Draw near

By Susie Teramura

 

Sailing in a bit late

We take

A seat in

A new pew,

New for us, anyway.

 

Deciding to sit

In this section

Of the church

So we can see

Little one wave her

Palm branches

And sing Hosanna!

 

The first song begins

And as we get

To the chorus,

Singing loud about

The Lion and the Lamb

I notice it…

 

A smell so putrid

And repulsive

I feel I might get sick.

 

Trying to choke

back my reaction

I continue to sing

Wondering who

or what it is.

 

Song number two begins

And I am

Beside myself,

I can stand it

No longer.

 

Husband’s face

Reads mine.

He smells it too

And we decide to

Exit after the next song

And relocate.

 

But I got to

Thinking about

Sin and me

And the stink

Of it all.

 

How this Easter message

Is all about that,

The rot of death

And the loneliness

It creates,

The separation,

And how you fixed all that

By your blood

Cleaning me up,

Drawing me near.

And I pause there…

 

You wanted me near,

You wanted me

To be Yours forever

So You rolled up

Your sleeves and

Entered my mess and

The smell of

It and dealt

With it all

Not even a bit

Left for me.

You did it all,

100% complete .

You rescued me.

 

How great

The mercy,

How humbling

The kindness,

Leaving me

A speechless

Mess on my knees.

How great

The Father’s love, lavished

And poured out

In extravagance

No strings attached,

Pure love

All over me.

 

And I look over and

She’s jumping up

And down

Palm branches

Waving crazy

Like a rescued one.

 

 

Ephesians 2:13

But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ.

 

 

Hebrews 10:22

let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.

 

James 4:8

Come near to God and he will come near to you

 

Deuteronomy 5:27

 Go near and listen to all that the Lord our God says.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Big Bold Blooms in progress

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Here is an in-process painting. I charcoaled the flowers and put in basic colors. ( I am sorry for the bad quality photo.) Next, I need to work on the shapes, background and finish up details with chalk pastels.