Finding Rest

old pics-2

Finding Rest

By Susie Teramura

 

Coughing and fevers

Land me

In the doctors office

Today.

 

After an exam,

And x-ray,

He says

Pneumonia,

And prescribes

An antibiotic,

 

But then some words

Come out of his mouth

That hit me

Like a slow moving

Freight train,

 

“You must rest,

Lay low,

Stay home.

Just rest.”

 

And as if

A record player needle

Was dragged

Across the vinyl surface

Of my mind,

 

My thoughts come

to a screeching

Halt and I

Replay those words again,

 

“You must rest,

Lay low,

Stay home.

Just rest.”

 

And then

The thoughts

Fly faster

Than the doctor can

Get me

Out of the door.

 

“Are you kidding me?

With all I have

Planned this week?

All the things

I must do?”

 

Like a gavel dropped,

Or a 50lb bag of sand

In my lap,

I feel like,

I am condemned

To one of

The hardest things

For me to do,

 

Be still and

Rest.

 

And so I

Sit on the couch,

Pouting just a bit,

 Until my 7 and

16-year-old nursemaids

Start loving on me,

Bringing me tea,

And cough drops,

And of course doing

A thermometer check

Every now and then,

 

And so,

I let my

Complaints lie.

 

I sit, and

Let my body do,

What it has been

Crying at me

To do,

For several days now,

 

I rest.

 

But it’s hard,

So I welcome

You in,

 Into this place of

Wrestling through

Why busy is

More comfortable,

 

And I settle on

The fact that

The busy keeps

My mind

Off the pain.

 

I hadn’t noticed

My throat as much,

When I was driving

Her to

Gymnastics class

Yesterday.

 

The slowing and

The stillness

Makes me

More aware

Of the pain

That’s there.

 

But this is where

You have me,

Staring the

Pain in the face,

 

Like a show down,

That pain and me,

Who is going to

Come out on top?

 

But I find the more

I muscle,

The weaker I get,

And that this

Giant can’t

Be man- handled,

 

It needs only

To be

God- handled,

 Where it can be

Cradled and

Cared for,

And tended to,

In Your

Most precious way.

 

You bring

Real healing,

Not the covered up

Plastic kind,

I have settled for

But the real kind

That fixes

Me deep.

 

So I sit,

And breathe slowly,

And let you love me,

And just let go

 

Of all my agendas,

And the urgent

Needs pressing,

 

And instead

Press in

Close to your heart.

 

I snuggle up here,

Covered, cared for

And deeply loved.

 

Peace enters in

Like a fresh

Gentle breeze,

 

And quietly,

It occurs to me,

 This is what

The slowing is for,

only so I can know

Your love,

Even more.

 

 

Psalm 62:5

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.

 

Psalm 91:4

He will cover you with his feathers,

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

 

Psalm 61:4

I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.

 

Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

8 thoughts on “Finding Rest

  1. First of all, I pray this finds you healed. Next, I understand. This was one of those slowing years for me with multiple times I had to stop and in the dark I found true rest. I love the part where you said busy is more comfortable. So true, and what is up with that anyway? Oh, we will always be learning won’t we…

    1. Hi Paris! 🙂 I am feeling much better-Thank you! I am glad you understand but so sorry for the hard year- That is very well said- thank you! Yes what is up with that? I find myself longing for rest but then when I have to make myself do it,it is so hard!! -and yes always learning ! Anyway- thank you for blessing me today! xo

    1. Me too Elaine!! The Lord is showing me a new kind of rest – one I am very unfamiliar with- and not able to do easily – Rest feels like work to me sometimes !?! …but i think it would do me well to rest more regularly!! Thanks so much – with much love

  2. Susie,
    Resting and recovering and canceling our plans is sometimes the hardest thing to do, isn’t it? What a monkey wrench sickness throws into our best laid plans! Since you’re back writing, I hope you’re feeling much better now, and I can just imagine your sweet girls trying to take care of you with tea and comfort-things! {Wish I could have brought you some scones since I have no doubt that would have sped up your recovery! :)}

    The verses you shared are so beautiful – -being covered by feathers and God granting us rest evoke so many fatherly and caring images. I hope that this unexpected season brought you unexpected insights and maybe even some slivers of joy to see how loved and cared for you really are! xoxox

    1. Hi Valerie! Yes it does!! crazy how it takes so long to get back on track afterward too!! I am feeling much better though not totally- I guess it takes a while! I am so blessed by my sweet girls and find they teach me things by their kindness! Oh i would have loved a scone and agree that it would have surely moved my healing along greatly!! Those are some of my favorite verses too! I love the picture of being under His wing. You are so right and said so beautifully that the Lord brought “slivers of joy” through it for me!! He is so kind to take something that is very hard and bring good from it over and over again. sending much love xoxo

  3. I’m so glad you’re back, Susie. 🙂 I hope this means you are doing much better. Is your youngest who got sick, too, doing better, too? How sweet of your kids to coddle you. 🙂 Isn’t it amazing how God sometimes brings us to a screeching halt so He can teach us more of how to rest in Him? Just to let go and let Him love us? To just be held? I love the poem and the verses. Let’s keep reminding each other to snuggle under His wings. 🙂 Blessings and hugs to you, my friend!

  4. Thanks Trudy! Thank you also for your kind emails and being so encouraging to me- It meant so much to me and ministered to my heart!! I am doing better and our youngest only had a cold and fever for a day?! It was a miracle! Yes it is amazing and I am thankful he is sovereign and knows how to get my attention. I can be quite stubborn when it comes to these kinds of things I think. I love that idea- Lets do that! Thankful for you my friend! hugs back! xoxox

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