Finding Rest

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Finding Rest

By Susie Teramura

 

Coughing and fevers

Land me

In the doctors office

Today.

 

After an exam,

And x-ray,

He says

Pneumonia,

And prescribes

An antibiotic,

 

But then some words

Come out of his mouth

That hit me

Like a slow moving

Freight train,

 

“You must rest,

Lay low,

Stay home.

Just rest.”

 

And as if

A record player needle

Was dragged

Across the vinyl surface

Of my mind,

 

My thoughts come

to a screeching

Halt and I

Replay those words again,

 

“You must rest,

Lay low,

Stay home.

Just rest.”

 

And then

The thoughts

Fly faster

Than the doctor can

Get me

Out of the door.

 

“Are you kidding me?

With all I have

Planned this week?

All the things

I must do?”

 

Like a gavel dropped,

Or a 50lb bag of sand

In my lap,

I feel like,

I am condemned

To one of

The hardest things

For me to do,

 

Be still and

Rest.

 

And so I

Sit on the couch,

Pouting just a bit,

 Until my 7 and

16-year-old nursemaids

Start loving on me,

Bringing me tea,

And cough drops,

And of course doing

A thermometer check

Every now and then,

 

And so,

I let my

Complaints lie.

 

I sit, and

Let my body do,

What it has been

Crying at me

To do,

For several days now,

 

I rest.

 

But it’s hard,

So I welcome

You in,

 Into this place of

Wrestling through

Why busy is

More comfortable,

 

And I settle on

The fact that

The busy keeps

My mind

Off the pain.

 

I hadn’t noticed

My throat as much,

When I was driving

Her to

Gymnastics class

Yesterday.

 

The slowing and

The stillness

Makes me

More aware

Of the pain

That’s there.

 

But this is where

You have me,

Staring the

Pain in the face,

 

Like a show down,

That pain and me,

Who is going to

Come out on top?

 

But I find the more

I muscle,

The weaker I get,

And that this

Giant can’t

Be man- handled,

 

It needs only

To be

God- handled,

 Where it can be

Cradled and

Cared for,

And tended to,

In Your

Most precious way.

 

You bring

Real healing,

Not the covered up

Plastic kind,

I have settled for

But the real kind

That fixes

Me deep.

 

So I sit,

And breathe slowly,

And let you love me,

And just let go

 

Of all my agendas,

And the urgent

Needs pressing,

 

And instead

Press in

Close to your heart.

 

I snuggle up here,

Covered, cared for

And deeply loved.

 

Peace enters in

Like a fresh

Gentle breeze,

 

And quietly,

It occurs to me,

 This is what

The slowing is for,

only so I can know

Your love,

Even more.

 

 

Psalm 62:5

Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.

 

Psalm 91:4

He will cover you with his feathers,

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

 

Psalm 61:4

I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.

 

Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Big Bold Blooms 2-Lesson 2

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This is my second assignment from Lynn Whipple’s Big Bold Bloom 2 class.   We had to use tissue paper to put in the dark shapes and then layer with a rice paper drawing and paint. These classes always challenge me  and push me out of my comfort zone. Honestly, I thought about throwing this away multiple times, and had to push myself to keep going. It has been good to practice to be ok with the painting in process.  When I get discouraged I have to tell myself to just keep going and that it’s not finished yet! I think God speaks similar things to my heart when life gets messy! So thankful He isn’t finished yet and that He promises to complete the work He has begun !